I am sure you have gathered from the title, that this is not good.
Dr. Kyles called this afternoon to let us know the radiology report came back from Chandler's x-ray on Saturday. Not good. He has mets throughout his lungs. My sweet little man has lung cancer now. The one plus to this horrible news is that Chandler is not having sugery today. There is no reason to put him through that now. Now it becomes a question of time.
I would say I am numb, but that is not true. I am destroyed. My little boy is terminal. All of his life, I have refused to believe he would ever die. Joke's on me. I now have to enjoy every singe moment I have with him. I cannot believe this. I keep hoping I will wake up and this was all a horrible dream. How can this be happening to my best friend? I want to understand, but I can't. He has been my faithful friend for 14 years (next month will be exactly 14 years). I cannot imagine him not being there. Anyone who knows me and Chandler knows the connection we have. He is part of me. How do I focus on the time I have with him, now being forced to face the fact that that time is drawing to a close? He was supposed to be with me forever. I know that is unreasonable, but that is how I feel.